So I'm a high school teacher that recently had graduation for my school. Graduation is ALWAYS exciting. This year we had more than 30 students in the top 10, they changed the order of graduation on kids after rehearsal and then went out of order on the program, and we had a fist fight between little kids. The crowd could best be described as 'ratchety' or according to an online urban dictionary (and my students) very diva like. Yelling, throwing signs, a bull horn, a trumpet, cow bells, and an attempt at yodeling...seriously.
Prior to graduation, the teaching staff was in the waiting area with the kids reminiscing on the school year and on some of the good, bad, funny, and down right stupid things we saw throughout the course of the year. The talk shifted to parenting and parenting choices. One of my co-workers brought up about how she's glad she's done parenting because her kids really stressed her out. Various co-workers chimed in with similar points. Myself and my younger married co-worker had darting eyes like ping pongs as we followed the conversation. Out of the blue, one of my colleagues said, "E, stay single for a while and MC (Married Coworker) don't pop out babies yet." We were both like, "okay." She said, "no seriously, babies make your vagina soft, like it changes your whole life. Your period, sex, everything, its different." Um, yeah. Another co-worker said "and your hair falls out, my kids make my hair fall out. Seriously, you single girls have the right idea." Um, yeah.
I really didn't know what to say--my vagina will be soft and I'll be balding. Sounds like a plan. In reality, according to my awesome research (hey, I'm a teacher and have a background in the medical field) it is your cervix that softens with childbirth not the VJ. It needs to in order for the baby to be born. So myth 1 is now corrected. Hair falling out is related to stress--or ripping your hair out, literally, while screaming at your kid because that sounds like a great gameplan. Most parents don't lose their hair or their minds when parenting--at least in my experience with thousands of high school students over the past years.
My "kids" and yes I'm one of those teachers that uses "my kids" graduated on Saturday. I was super proud to be a part of their lives for the period of time they were in it. As a single, childless woman, my dogs and my kids are the pictures hanging in my classroom. Someday I do want kids of my own but that's a whole different blog post...so today you learned that "E" knows what ratchety means, that she should stay single for now, that her vagina will soften (per my co-worker) and she'll go bald. Happy Tuesday!
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