Both E and I have been raised to be pretty strong, independent, resilient women, but sometimes that's just not enough. Sometimes life still hands us a lesson that knocks us down and it's hard to get back up from. A long time ago I fell in love with a guy, not just any guy, but my lifetime best friend's brother. And not just any love, a lifetime love. Nothing was said, and life took us in different directions, for me a few college degrees and a career, for him college, career and a family. Watching him walk down the aisle with someone other than myself was the hardest thing I've ever had to endure, or so I thought at the time.
Fast forward ten years, he's divorced and I'm thanking my lucky stars for my second chance, but I always seem to forget, life never really works that way. For the first time in my life I truly opened up to someone and told them how I feel, trusted them with my feelings, desires, and my love. E can attest, that was a GIANT step for this Farmer's Daughter. I guess we have too much history, or something, and he thinks we won't work, he quit us, before there was even an us to quit. Queue the hardest hurdle, how does one get over a lifetime love? Realizing that the one person you thought you couldn't live without, wants to live without you is gut wrenching.
Back to fluttering solo, attempting to pick up the pieces, and stumbling my way through this crazy journey called life.
~FD
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