Contingency Plans

Hey there,

So I (E) made the decision to go ahead and buy a few books about parenting. I know that I'm single and that I'm not quite ready to be a mom yet--but as I flutter along on this path to life, I'm quickly finding that I still want to be a parent. IT isn't just selfish motivation but given the experiences that I've had, I know that I can be a good mom and a good nurturer. 

My parents and sibling are in full support, as is FD and I do have a support system in the town where I live. My mom actually bought me a "baby name book" at a garage sale recently. I looked at her and said, "Mom, I'm not quite at that point yet." She said "E, I was thinking for your foster dogs but you can hold onto it for a few years if you want to." I'm using the baby book for naming my foster dogs :) and maybe I will use it for my future child as well. 

Life has a funny way of changing our plans, I thought I'd already be married with a kid or two by now but that's not how my life has panned out. I'm going to make plans to go it alone and then maybe I'll meet someone but either way a contingency plan, isn't a bad idea. 

Complete or incomplete?

Recently, I was asked by a co-worker what it would take to make my life complete. I didn't quite no how to respond, I mean my life complete enough as it is. I think they were getting at the "enough" part of my statement. Being single isn't a "state of being" its just a type of life style that a lot of people don't understand. Its like we are these species that don't fit into a mold when really we are living our lives to the best of our ability. So when my co-worker asked me how to be complete, I thought about the things on my wish list is different than FD's. Upon a lot of reflection and attending vespers and having to think about clarity and direction I would say: teacher, nurturer, mentor, mother, lover, compassionate, and empathetic. The list isn't exhaustive and its not all inclusive. That being said I know what I want--I don't know how I'll get there but sometimes I think of the Trace Adkins' Song "You're Gonna Miss This." (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBDN8yWyNYU) I know that as my life changes, I will miss being a single 30 something. In the mean time I wouldn't say my life is incomplete but really a work in progress--hey, it might be messy but at least I'm trying. I have a sense of completeness because of the things I do the relationships I have and the effort I've made with others.

A candle to replace a guy...kind of

So FD and E were at a local gift shop in E's town recently. While there they were browsing through candles and E picked one up that totally smells like awesome men's cologne. Yes, she is replacing men with candles...for now.

As a single person there are certain things that E and FD have agreed that they miss. For FD its the ease of conversation and the comfort of someone to confide in. For E its cuddling and the bonding you can have over stupid things like football games (the only reason E doesn't cancel Comcast). So for now as the flutter solo, E and FD will find other things (like candles) to fill the void.